Section 10

Some most common lies thought and believed by children who have been abused/molested.

1st lie: If it is happening from the same sex, and it's not being being physically forced, then the number lie is "I must be gay". Kids may think that, because it is something that they didn't stop, and also because they don't understand why it felt or feels "ok" to them. kids don't understand how they are manipulated and their emotions tricked into feeling sexual. They also don't understand the connection between their emotions and their sexual feelings. Children that come from broken homes that didn't get attention and/or emotional attachment from one or both of their parents(usually a boy and his father or a girl and her mother) once the child is abused especially by the same sex(which is 75% of the time) the child will try to receive that missing attachment in a FALSE way, which is usually sexual. In order for the child to keep that "feeling of attachment" they will convince themeselves "I must be gay"

Truth: The reason that it feels sexually good is because God created sex as a reward and pleasureable experience for passion and pro-creation. A child doesn't know this, therefore to them, it just feels sexual and good. It may also feel good because it puts the child on a "high" that removes them(for a short while only) from any emotional pain and/or trauma they have experienced.

2nd lie: That sex/sexual touching is the best way or only "safe" way to make "an emotional connection" with someone.

Truth: Sexual feelings only give the perception that you're connecting with someone on an emotional level. This usually happens with kids and adults that are too afraid of trying to connect emotionally with someone because of past hurt/rejection. The true way to "connect" with someone is through friendship. Friendship includes having things in common, learning to trust one another, caring for one another, and then loving each other. True friends treat you in a Godly and legal way, and will not use you for some feel good pleasure. True closeness and love is found through a friend that wants to be with you, just because you're you! Not because you do something ungodly or illegal that makes them feel good.

3rd lie: If I really want a friend or just to be loved by and adult, I have to make them feel good, I have to let them make me feel something they think is helping me or they will leave.

Truth:  A true connection with an adult and friend is made up of:

A) Things that you have in common and enjoy together.

B) Personality of the person(is it similiar to yours)

C) Ability to tell the person things personal and trust them.

D) Through time showing that the person doesn't lead you into ungodly and illegal things.

E) Being able to understand each other and forgive each other when you have made an honest mistake and you see they are trying to make sure it doesn't happen again.(If an adult tries to touch you in a sexual way DON'T believe the lie that it was just a mistake and it won't happen again..tell someone and get away from that person!

F) A person that accepts you for the unique boy/girl that God made you. You should be able to be yourself around people, if they don't like that, then don't turn ungodly or turn to illegal things just to make them like you. God said "It is not good for man or women to be alone" He will bring plenty of TRUE friends.

G) A true friend will not expect you to do anything sexual with them!

4th lie: I have been hurt by people before so I have to be afraid to have a true friendship based upon true feelings and values, so the safest way to build one is upon "feel goods" like sex.

Truth: As young children we have been hurt 100% of the time because of someone else's sin(selfish desire and bad choice.) It may have been alcohol, drugs, or physical abuse that led a parent to leave. These are things that YOU HAVE NOT MADE HAPPEN, OR THAT YOU COULD CONTROL. So if you look for warning signs that were missed the first time around, and avoid those type people you have a better chance of not getting hurt. Knowing that you didn't cause people to make the decisions they did, you can have confidence that you will learn to protect yourself better. Pray for protection. If you just be yourself and treat others the way you would like to be treated, if they are true Godly people, they will return that friendship, without condition.

5th lie: Because I have been hurt and rejected showing my true emotions in the past(while trying to feel secure with someone) the only way to feel safely close is to try and create closeness by using "dangerous feel goods" like sex/drugs.

Truth: It wasn't your good qualities that cause people to hurt and reject you. It was their bad ones, it was their free-will choice. The real truth of 100% security without fault is found NOT in people on earth.